From the Heart of One Woman’s Struggles

When I first met her in early 2012 it was in a suite at WPPI with a few other women and I thought she was cute and totally gorgeous. 🙂  As our short meeting went on I learned she was a baby and family photographer and had a love for digging deep into the word.  Little did I know of her own personal, heartbreaking journey that she had been suffering through and wrestling with God for the last 6 years.

Some would call it fate. I would call it God’s perfect timing.  God brought along Jane Johnson to have her world collide with mine.  After our first meeting at WPPI, I had no idea the looming events that would rock my world in the following months and how God would use this remarkable woman to give me the encouragement and faith boost I would need that was the catalyst for God to begin the healing my heart so desperately needed…

Fast forward 8 months after first meeting Jane.  In that time span Zach and I got pregnant three times, losing each and every child (if you’re new to the blog you can read about our journey HERE).  Our most recent loss happening 3 weeks prior when I found myself at a Christian women’s retreat. It was the first evening and I was barely keeping myself together when people would ask me what my talk was on.  As God would have it, a few of us were supposed to meet up to head down to the lodge and I found myself alone with Jane and she asked the question that was my undoing. What transpired the next hour was a time of openness, sharing and encouragement as she poured out her heart and the journey she had been on for years (and is still on) with trying to have kids.

God brought Jane along and then another sweet, sweet woman that night to breath life and encouragement that gave me what I needed to share the next morning with all the women at the retreat. (If you want to hear that talk, email me at and I’ll send you the link to download the MP3).

Jane also spoke on the retreat and hearing her heart and the golden nuggets of truth – the treasures of darkness – that God is revealing to her through this now 89 month journey, has been such an encouragement to not only me but many other women as well.

I share all of this because Jane has responded to the lord’s nudgings and has begun to make public the journal entries of her struggles she has been walking through and the revelations the Lord has been giving her in her journey and desire of having kids.

For those of you going through hard seasons, times of doubt, whether with fertility or not, or just want another sister in Christ to pray for as you read her story and journal entries, I encourage you to head over to Jane’s blog (make sure to read her first post).janeblog

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